Friday, October 19, 2007

Day 13 - Dangerous Liaisons

In an attempt to use our oven and boil an egg, we nearly gas ourselves. After turning the hob on full, the knob comes away in our hand – but the gas keeps on a comin’. Bugger. Don’t panic; just turn the gas off at the bottle? It’s stuck and won’t turn. Bugger. As the gas swirls around us we start to panic.

Nicole runs around shouting and opening all doors and windows; Paul continues to fight with the gas bottle, and eventually wins. Somewhat shaken we ask Michael when the stove was last used, “God knows” he replies and tells us to calm down, relax; it’s just a little gas. Hmm… what side of the war were the Greeks fighting on again?

Michael also informs us not to worry about the fiery sparks when plugging electrical goods into the sockets dangling from the walls by the earth wire alone. He does, however, get very upset when he discovers that most of the octopus has been eaten.

A covert call will be made to a local electrician tomorrow.

We realise today that we are going to have to up the ante on our language lessons when Paul, trying to comment on the size of the birds in Michael’s trees, inadvertently tells him he has a large penis, and Nicole, concerned about Maria’s health, asks her when she is getting divorced.

Meanwhile, an ambulance has broken down at the wharf and is being pushed by one smoking paramedic while the other smoking paramedic at the wheel attempts to start the battered, white transit van with a red cross hastily painted on the side.

The sight reminds Nicole of a previous experience at the island’s hospital that involved an intravenous line being dropped on the floor, quickly picked up, and then rammed into a patient’s arm. This is probably the only NHS in Europe where the ten-second rule is officially part of the hospital legislation.

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