Saturday, October 13, 2007

Day 7 - Death to The Sideboard

For days we have been waiting to get rid of the monster sideboard. It’s too big to get down the stairs. We can’t chop it into bits or throw it over the balcony because Michael insists on it’s sentimental value and has laid down the condition that the beast must remain in one piece, for storage, for some unimaginable future in which the poorly constructed, ugly, gigantic sideboard suddenly becomes more useful to him that the fairly tasteful modern furniture he has in his house.

Two days ago we asked him how, back in the 1970s, they managed to get the eyesore into the flat in the first place. He said it was raised by ropes, on to the balcony and carried through the window. So we have already decided that this is pretty much the only way to get it out again.

Problem is that we have a small collection of inadequate ropes and a total manpower of the two of us. Michael doesn’t like things happening quickly and keeps stalling, insisting that we need “strong men” and proper pulley gear to do the job. Left to him, there will be a string of excuses and it will never happen.

If we were to start the job under our own steam, Michael would rush from his front door, wave his arms, tell us we are doing it wrong and insist that we stop.
But a window of opportunity opens after lunch when Michael decides to go to Vothini, on the other side of the island to water his plantation of olive trees.
Within minutes of his departure we are both bent double over the railing, the awesome beast straining the cords from our grasp and then… we run out of rope. There’s still a foot to the ground and there’s no choice but to drop it.

The sideboard falls, we race down the stairs to inspect the damage and by a combination of amazing luck and the way that it falls into a pile of sticks, it’s OK. One of the legs has been knocked, so now it’s got two wonky legs. No big deal. We store the sideboard at the back of the yard and return to the flat to cackle insanely over how much room there is now.
Less is more!

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